Celebrity Death Haiku

Robin Gibb

1949–2012

Summer ends early
Then Robin cannot return
Disco’s really dead

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

Not stayin' alive
Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh
Not stayin' alive

— Jeff Tiedrich

Maurice Sendak

1928-2012

Sendak's journey ends
Now he's qualified to write
Where The Dead Things Are

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Oh grumpy wild thing,
I loved your stories and art
Sad to reach the end.

 — DeBerk

* * *

Unlike Steve Miller
Everyone called him Maurice
Not just some people

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Levon Helm

1940-2012

But they should never
Have taken the very best
Rest in peace, Levon

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Dick Clark

1929–2012

Let the last ball drop
On world's oldest teenager's
Rockin' Mid-Year's Grieve

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

New Year's without Clark?
Still fun -- harder to dance to
I give it a six

-- Dr. Vitz

 

Mike Wallace

1918–2012

Flash of pearly whites
A gentle "Forgive me, but..."
He went for the kill

— Russell 1000

* * *

How did anyone
Hiding something think that
They could outwit him?

— O'Cyrus

 

Andrew Breitbart

1969–2012

Quick with opinions
And could adjust the edits
To create own facts

— Dr. Vitz

 

Davy Jones

1945–2012

Now Davy Jones? Jeez.
One more boyhood icon gone
I'm a bereaver

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Pre-teen idol from
Pre-fab foursome
Croaks prematurely

— Russell 1000

* * *

Pop music sweetheart
Just when "sour" became the
Flavor of the month

— Lairbo

 * * *

Mock at your peril;
Stephen Stills auditioned
For the Monkees gig

— Abby Rhodes

 

Gary Carter

1954–2012

Believe it or not
One time, the Mets didn't suck
Carter's one reason

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Whitney Houston

1963–2012

A powerful voice
Gone silent much too early
Oh – hell to the no!

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Not nearly enough
Bodyguards to protect her
From her own worst self

— Philco

* * *

Hope that she will be
Remembered for her talent —
Not for the trainwreck

— Inshallah

 

Robert Hegyes

1951–2011

Dear Mr. Kotter
Robert's career is absent
Signed Epstein's Mother

— Dr. Vitz

 

Ronald Searle

1920–2011

Ask not for whom the
Belles of St. Trinian's toll —
They toll for Ronald

— Lairbo

 

Cheetah

19??–2011

Chimp Cheetah played fair
Flinging feces at bad guys,
Not Tarzan and Jane

— Basil St. Blaise

* * * 

Noble Cheetah slipped
On Big Banana Peel, joins
Johnny Weismuller

— Basil St. Blaise

* * *

 

 

Kim Jong-Il

1942–2011

Word fun: change just one
Letter of  "Dear Leader" for
His status update

— Roger Rabid

* * *

Cartoon Bond villain
Wearing Jackie-O's eyewear
Eraserhead's hair

— Abbie Rhodes

 

Christopher Hitchens

1949–2011

Often made me mad.
Always made me think about
Why he'd made me mad

— Lairbo

* * *

Brilliant or blowhard?
We won't know until all of
His friends are dead, too

— Russell 1000

 

Harry Morgan

1915-2011

Cowpoke to colonel
Cop in between; looked 50
For as many years

-- Abbie Rhodes

 

Kenneth Russell

1927-2011

After Russell's films --
Stylishly excessive porn
He finds heaven bland

-- Dr. Vitz

Bil Keane

1921–2011

Dotted line showing 
Bil’s tortuous pathway home 
Just got new end point

— Dr. Vitz

 

Joe Frazier

1944–2011

Took down The Greatest
Nearly killed him in Thrilla
Smokin' without grill

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Let's turn to Cosell
For the last words on Smokin' Joe:
"And down goes Frazier!"

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Andy Rooney

1919–2011

'Ja ever notice
How stiff and cold I've become?
Why 'ja think that is?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Having run out of
Complaints in this life, he is
On to the next one

— Ishallah 

 

Muammar Gaddafi

1942 – 2011

Spell it "Gadhafi",
"Qaddafi" or "Khadafy",
He's "khasualty" now

— Russell 1000

 

Steve Jobs

1955–2011

Jobs has a new gig:
convincing the living that
death's insanely great

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Having changed our world
Jobs is no doubt now changing
Whatever comes next

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Cannot imagine
How many read his obit  
On a Mac product

— Inshallah

* * *

With the death of Jobs  
The Apple War is over ...  
Paul McCartney wins!

— Inshallah

Bubba Smith

1945–2011

Gentle giant off
The field; on the gridiron,
Not so much "gentle"

— Roger Rabid

 

Amy Winehouse

1983–2011

Hey Amy Winehouse — 
That "won't go to rehab" thing,
How did that work out?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Cautionary tale:
When they say "go to rehab"
Don't say "no no no"  

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Perhaps what's saddest
About this untimely death
Is that no one's shocked

— Inshallah 

John M. Shalikashvili

1936–2011

From draftee to top
Brass hat; agreed not to ask
Hoping no one'd tell

— Russell 1000

* * *

Shalikashvili's
Name alone wasted entire
Line of death haiku

— Dr. Vitz

 

 

Betty Ford

1918–2011

If we voted for
First Ladies, Betty would've
Been a two-termer

— Lairbo

* * *

Made celebrity
Sobriety hip and, for
Some, habitual

— Roger Rabid